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Are your thought patterns your own?

Are your thought patterns your own or are they mostly accumulation of others belief systems, or are they an influence of the media, the society, your family, and friends?


A lot of the times, what we believe are our own thoughts are not so actually. Without even noticing we accumulate, and store others thought patterns which then influence our decision making and navigating through life. Most of the times, we are not even aware that we are doing so because we have been conditioned this from the day we were born as our parents and their parents and so on have been passing on the same knowledge and way of living to all their family tree/family lineage.


Have you ever felt like you are deciding something from your mind but not from your heart? I am sure that is very much relevant to a lot of us. Can you recall those moments in life from childhood where you wanted to study something else but your parents picked your subjects, those times where you didn’t want to accompany them to a certain shop or function but you were forced to go with them and what about those times where you wanted to choose dancing or football for your extra-curricular activities but your parents thought its better for you to register for extra tuition class so that you can get better results for the next time and make them proud.


Moving forward, do you remember the times where you wanted to fit in with your classmates and friends and to do so you would half-heartedly participated and agreed with everything they want to do so that you feel included and not left out. Now in your adult life, have you ever felt you have to compete and perform better at university or work so that you can get better house, job and finance and eventually lead a married life because the society and our family say this is the only way you can achieve the “ultimate happily ever after life”.

But is it? Is that what you truly believe or do you think there are alternative ways of living. Have you ever tried silencing your mind and stopped to listen carefully what the “inner you” really wants?


Like everyone else, I have believed that whatever I have been thinking since childhood have been my own thoughts and beliefs but the last few years have made me realise that a lot of this was passed on from my parents, their parents, the media and the society. I have been so busy living life as per everyone else’s point of view that I almost forgot what the “real me” even feel anymore.

I have started shifting my focus within myself by connecting to the inner me and realising how unfair, lonely, and wrong I have done to myself. I have ignored my own needs by never listening to the inner voice within me. Throughout my life, before taking any decisions my focus has been “what others would think”, “is this what my parents would be proud of” “will this make the me feel centre of attention of my achievements seeing how much better I am doing than others”.


The more and more I am realising how my old thought patterns worked, the more obvious it is that it was always for others, nothing was ever done for myself but now I am listening to the inner voice which says –“ I want to live every moment, I don’t want to constantly be thinking, I don’t want to only earn money and have a big house and a big bank balance but instead I want to be able to enjoy my life by traveling, learning new skills, being creative, doing what my soul feels happy to do by reliving the inner child in me but also being mature enough to nurture myself without having to rely on others comfort and love as I believe no one else can love me more than how much I can love myself.


I know it is a tough journey and right now in collective as a lot of us are going through pattern shifts from our previous generations. Some of our families might find that our ways of living and decision making can be very overwhelming and challenging for them to accept and support but if it feels right in your core than follow it, I promise it will be worth it!

It may not be easy, but you will be so proud of yourself to follow your own inner voice!


I would love to share your story please feel free to share your journey below where you are trying to break free from old patterns and if you need any one to every talk to please feel free to reach out.


Lots love your Soul sister Dee Kaur!




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